2008 Jan

Its was 30th December 2007, in the evening i want to meet my friend Sourav. He told me that MONTAI asked him about me. She also told that she sow me during Durga pooja, she was not sure whether I had seen her at that time or not. She asked Sourav to tell me to call her. Sourav asked me to call her up. I called her..................at time I was the most happiest person in this world. She is my DREAM GIRL. From my childhood I always dreamed about her. Many times I tried to tell her that I love her but all efforts were in vain. Montai also wanted to hear from me that I Love Her. Many times she gave me chance to tell her that but I was a looser. After school I went to college and then went to Mumbai for higher study. But I kept her in my heart. Always there was an absence in my heart for her, but I never reacted on that as I thought she is not there in my fate even though I love her more than anything. But on that day(30/12/2007) when i spoke to her I found a whole new world dream which is becoming reality for me. I started thinking about her, start dreaming about her. On that very day i spoke with her long time. On that night she promised to meet me next day. On the other hand on 7th Jan 2008 I am going to join a new job and next day I will go to Bangalore for 2-3 month. Now it was really important for us to meet before I want to Bangalore. But next day she could not manage to meet me. She called me. In the mean time we were in touch. On 6th Jan evening I went to meet her. It was really a moment to remember as we were talking standing in front of Montai's house, she was standing on high drain. It was a meeting after so many year, and most importantly it was the 1t time I touched her and spoken so closely. That night I started for Ultadanga flat as next day was my joining. When i got on the train I started speaking to Montai on mobile. After reaching there at Ultadanga I spoke to her so long. I went to Bangalore.

From Bangalore I use to call her but she didn't responded always. Some times she spoke to me some times not, some times some one took the call and replied that she is not there and let the mobile. I could understand that she is there but she is not talking to me. I could feel the love in her for me.

I came back to Kolkata on 1st March 2008. Start talking to her again in full swing. She told me that she will meet me on 11th of March at my place. The day comes, she came there I brought 2 bottles of Beer as she asked. She came, we started having beer. We start talking about our old days, all the happenings and many more. Suddenly I kissed her.....and we got involved in a physical relation. She came back to her home. Now we start meeting very regularly. Every Saturday we use to travel back home together. We start getting close to more closer. One day Montai asked me that whether I will be able to stand against my own parents or not. I got the point and asked her what do you want to say I understand. I told her give me some time. At that time she had to go to Hyderabad for an official trip. She was really very scare, I went to see off her to the Air port. She hugged me and kissed me there before going and said - "I love you Sontai, I will miss you". She came back from Hyderabad. I was waiting for her at Dumdum Station. She came, we went to have some food out side. We started getting more closer.

5th May 2008, I went to my new flat. after few day she went there. We got involved more physically. She started thinking my flat her own, started thinking how she can improve the look of the flat. She brought so many thing to decorate the rooms. She was getting depressed day by day about the future of our relationship. I started thinking about our relationship. One day she asked me "Will you marry me". I told her that i want to do so but i need some time to think. At that time I was little confused what to do or what not to do. I was thinking that my parents will not accept it. So, after few days told her that its not possible for me to marry you. Really how cowered how stupid I was at that time. How could I do that with my childhood love. She is my everything. The biggest blunder I had ever made, it shacked my life so badly that now I am no where. Comes the month of October , the biggest festival of Bengali - Durga Pooja. On the day of Maha Astami Pooja me went to my friend Sourav's house with her in the 1st half for some time. We all had a very good time there. When we came out she told me one thing "today I found something in your eyes which I wanted to see for my whole life, the urge to have me, the urge to marry me". I smiled. She was really very happy.

Here comes the Dewalli. On the last working day before dewali we were supposed to come back home together. But I was little late due to some work in my office. She called me and went back. We had a little fight over phone because of that. At last I told her to go away. She went and in some time she msg me that she will wait somewhere and after meeting me she will explain why she could not wait. But I was very angry, I told her that she will not see my face ever in her life and even I don't want to see her ever.

She was out of my touch for a log time approx 15-20 days. She use to send me msg every day or alternate day in the morning or night saying goodnight or good morning. But I never use to reply back. In the middle of this before Durga Pooja she informed me that from their relatives' side there is a proposal comes for her marriage. But she didn't liked the guy and behaved very badly with him as he looked very very bellow average. I told her why don't you at least speak to him, there is no harm in speaking. She listen to me.

During the period when I was out of Montai's reach for 15-20 days she thought that I am not going to come back again to her and she was very much upset for that. At the same time the pressure from her home started mounting to get married. She surrendered to her parents. Slowly slowly she was settling her mind with that guy. Oppps !!! Forgot to tell any thing about that guy.

He is Mr. K.Lahiri, working in Indian Army. He is posted in Pathankot now. He is basically from Barakpur.

Even though I told Monati that I will not marry her then also I was burning my heart in side. What to do? What not t do? There was only one thing in my mind at that time. How will we both live without each other? I was just fighting within. Finally I came to a point that in this way I will never be able to solve the problem. It is a matter of love, so, when I am not been able to solve it any way then I have to listen to my HEART. And my HEART says ....... "Go for the her, she is your future." "She is the sound of my heart, flavour of my soul and colour of my life." Yes she is my life. Without her my life will be incomplet.

Watch for the year 2009 !!!!